Suffering

Gregg’s Reflection

The first half of my life was relatively free of suffering. Our parents, who endured the depression and the War, provided for us in ways they had never experienced in their young lives.

Even when I came to faith, I did not sign on to suffer. I don’t really remember being taught a theology of suffering. Somehow, ‘Take up your cross and follow Me’ did not sink into my hard head.

I was discipled by my father and our culture to fight, to compete, to win. As an Enneagram 8, failure was not an option. Suffering was not on my radar screen. I thought I was separate from the suffering of those around me, from the suffering of the world.

When we sold the business and I left the business world, that illusion came crashing down. Looking back, I can see that for me to be useful to God, humility was a prerequisite. But, I sure didn’t know the cost of humility.

As I sought to pursue my calling, I encountered business failure, the threat of bankruptcy, but the worst of all was the failure of a church leadership project I had started and pushed for five years. I had so invested my identity in ‘doing something great for God,’ that I nearly destroyed my health.

Hitting the wall, I had to delay knee surgery while my heart was checked out. My irregular gait threw out my back and I spent a month in bed. During that time, I knew there was a lesson for me, so I endured and prayed. Reading Job, I realized I had been having trouble letting God be God. I was intent on being the savior.

Failing publicly, and letting go of my project was the dawning of humility in my life. I began to learn this lesson:

Suffering endured in faith helps us realize that God allows it because it inculcates great good into our lives through the transforming effect it has on a character. We become more compassionate, tolerant, and humble. We come to the place where we can see life realistically and hopefully at the same time. We discover the abiding, caring presence of the God who holds each and everyone of us in the hollow of his hand during our own experiences of suffering. 

Renovare Bible notes on “The People of God in Travail,” p. 720, Old Testament 

My spiritual director, Mark Ritchie, would help me discern the learning from the pain in my journey. “What have you learned from this experience?” I would recount what i could see in the rearview mirror. “Was the learning worth the pain endured?” And, each time I say yes. I find I don’t learn without some pain. Out of my greatest wound came my calling. There is honey in the rock.

Journaling Prompt

How has suffering shaped you? How has your pain turned into passion to help others enduring that suffering? In what ways have your wounds shaped your calling?

Scripture

All humans born of women have a short life, and it is full of suffering.

Job 14:1

God speaks through our distress, when we think He is silent. God opens the ear through adversity. Maybe there are messages we simply have not heard. Can we hear God in Adversity?

Renovare Bible Notes on Job 36:15, Old Testament  p. 758

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. 

Psalm 22:1-5

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord rescues them from them all.

Psalm 34:18-19

And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Mark 15:34

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

Luke 22: 42-44

Am I not to drink the cup that the Father has given me?

John 18:11

I myself will show him (Paul) how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.

Acts 9:16

We boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us because God’s Spirit has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given. 

Romans 5:36

I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18

All things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose… And those whom he called, he also justified; and those he justified he also glorified.

Romans 8:28, 30

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, not things to come, not powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39

Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.

Romans 12:12

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

We have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies. So, we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away; Our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure.

2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 16-17

Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea,  I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers.  I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.

2 Corinthians 11:24-28 

For he has graciously granted you the privilege not only of believing in Christ, but suffering for him as well.

Philippians 1:29

Whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.

2 Timothy 1:12

Our times of suffering become spiritually significant when they are induced by faithful discipleship and when we see them as opportunities to rely on the power of God.

RENOVARE Bible notes on 2 Timothy 18

Jesus came to us, preached words of life, and showed us the way, and we crucified him for it. His way is that narrow way that seems, no matter how charmingly and beguiling we try to put the Gospel, to involve suffering.

RENOVARE Bible notes on James 1:2

It is a credit to you, if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly. If you endure when you do right and suffer for it, you have God’s approval. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps.

1 Peter 2:19-21

Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same intention, so as to live for the rest of your earthly life no longer by human desires but by the will of God. Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you. But rejoice insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed. If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of God is resting on you. Therefore, let those suffering in accordance with God’s will entrust themselves to a faithful Creator, while continuing to do good.

1 Peter 4:1-2, 12-16, 19

Ancient Writings

The Lord did not complete His suffering. It has been given to the church to complete the sufferings of Christ. Each one of us-because we are in some mysterious way one with Him-will taste some part of His experience of suffering. One within your fellowship may know ridicule. Another will partake of physical pain, another will know rejection, perhaps someone else will know what it means to be vilified and verbally, socially crucified. Now you must step into your place in the body of Christ and you must receive and bear some segment of the suffering which is Christ’s. 

Celtic Daily Prayer, Aiden reading April 28. 

The Christian way is to embrace our wounds, not to become embittered victims. The wounds in Jesus’ hands, feet and side are still carried in the resurrected body. I think we carry our wounds until the end; they do not fully go away but keep us humble, patient and more willing to trust. Wounds become our daily offering to God, and they develop in us compassion towards the weaknesses of others. “Our wounds become our honor,” 

Julian of Norwich. Richard Rohr, On the Threshold of Transformation, p.135

And I saw the river over which every soul must pass to reach the kingdom of heaven and the name of that river was suffering, and I saw the boat which carries souls across the river, and the name of that boat was love.

John of the Cross

Modern Writings

Is there a joy greater than that of suffering out of love for you? 

St. Thérèse of Lisieux, Story of a Soul p. 214

Walk your walk of lament on a path of praise. 

Rainer Maria Rilke

All wounds flower. We only need to investigate, by looking straight into the wound. Only interior silence can look deeply into a wound. What silence finds is also silent. Let us stand still, then, in the interval of our wounding, til the silence turns golden and love is a moment eternally overflowing.

R.S. Thomas, Evening

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. 

Thomas Merton, Seven Storey Mountain

It was good that I went through the storm: it was the only way to learn a truth that was otherwise inaccessible. 

Thomas Merton, A Year with Thomas Merton, p. 116

Pain has a way of dissolving every other thought. Rest in the presence of pain.

Thomas Keating

The ocean of suffering is immense, but if you turn around, you can see the land. The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy. When one tree in the garden is sick, you have to care for it. But don't overlook all the healthy trees. Even while you have pain in your heart, you can enjoy the many wonders of life — the beautiful sunset, the smile of a child, the many flowers and trees. To suffer is not enough. Please don't be imprisoned by your suffering. 

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching, p. 1

In solitude, we come to know the Spirit who has already been given to us. The pains and struggles we encounter in our solitude thus become the way to hope, because our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God’s healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings. The discipline of solitude allows us gradually to come in touch with this hopeful presence of God in our lives, and allows us also to taste even now the beginnings of the joy and peace that belong to the new heaven and the new earth. 

Henri Nouwen, Nouwen Society Daily Devotion, 6/9/20

Your whole life is filled with losses, endless losses. And every time there are losses there are choices to be made. You choose to live your losses as passages to anger, blame, hatred, depression, and resentment, or you choose to let these losses be passages to something new, something wider, and deeper. The question is not how to avoid loss and make it not happen, but how to choose it as a passage, as an exodus to greater life and freedom. 

Henri Nouwen, Nouwen Society Daily Devotion, 11/9/20

The mystery of God’s love is not that our pain is taken away, but that God first wants to share that pain with us. 

Henri Nouwen Society Daily Devotion, 4/3/21

Loneliness is one of the most universal sources of human suffering today.  The roots of loneliness are very deep. They find their food in the suspicion that there is no one who cares and offers love without conditions, and no place where we could be vulnerable without being used. 

Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out, p. 25

When religion cannot find a meaning for human suffering, human beings far too often become cynical, bitter, negative, and blaming. Healthy religion, almost without realizing it, shows us what to do with our pain, with the absurd, the tragic, the nonsensical, the unjust.

If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it. If we cannot find a way to make our wounds into sacred wounds, we invariably give up on life and humanity. I am afraid there are bitter and blaming people everywhere, both inside and outside of the church. As they go through life, the hurts, disappointments, betrayals, abandonments, and the burden of their own sinfulness and brokenness all pile up, and they do not know how to deal with all this negativity. This is what we need to be "saved" from. 

Richard Rohr

God is patient in calling us slowly to ever greater wisdom. Usually God does this by making our self-constructed world fall apart. Our personal salvation project must always show itself to be almost totally wrong; in fact, the refusal to allow this falling apart is what creates legalism in religion. The pain of things falling apart is what we call suffering, and it is one of God’s means to show us that life is always bigger than we imagine it to be. Faith is what sustains us during this suffering, and allows us to discover that we can survive only by relying on a much greater source. God is always drawing us closer, and most of the time we do not even know it is happening. 

Richard Rohr, On the Threshold of Transformation, p. 61

Christianity’s central symbol is a man in pain, a man who is not destroyed by it but rises from it and moves through it. Never get rid of the pain too quickly, until you have learned what it has to teach you. 

Richard Rohr, On the Threshold of Transformation p. 62

I believe—if I am to believe Jesus—that God  is suffering love. If we are created in God’s image, and if there is so much suffering in the world, then God must also be suffering. How else can we understand the revelation of the cross? Why else would the central Christian logo be a naked, bleeding, suffering divine-human being? The image of Jesus on the cross somehow communicates God’s solidarity with the willing soul. A Crucified God is the dramatic symbol of the one suffering that God fully enters into with us—much more than just for us, as many Christians were trained to think.

Richard Rohr, CAC Morning Devotion, 3/22/20

The Gift of Tears : The human instinct is to block suffering and pain. This is especially true in the West where we have been influenced by the “rationalism” of the Enlightenment. As anyone who has experienced grief can attest, it isn’t rational. We really don’t know how to hurt! We simply do not know what to do with our pain.

The great wisdom traditions are trying to teach us that grief isn’t something from which to run. It’s a liminal space, a time of transformation. In fact, we can’t risk getting rid of the pain until we’ve learned what it has to teach us and it—grief, suffering, loss, pain—always has something to teach us!

Unfortunately, most of us, men especially, have been taught that grief and sadness are something to repress, deny, or avoid. We would much rather be angry than sad. Perhaps the simplest and most inclusive definition of grief is “unfinished hurt.” We have to learn to remain open to our grief, to wait in patient expectation for what it has to teach us. When we close in too tightly around our sadness or our grief, when we try to fix it, control it, or understand it, we only deny ourselves its lessons.

Saint Ephrem the Syrian (303–373), a Doctor of the Church, considered tears to be sacramental signs of divine mercy. He instructs: “Give God weeping, and increase the tears in your eyes; through your tears and [God’s] goodness the soul which has been dead will be restored.” What a different kind of human being than most of us! In the charismatic circles in which I participated in my early years of ministry, holy tears were a common experience. Saints Francis and Clare of Assisi reportedly wept all the time—for days on end! The “weeping mode” really is a different way of being in the world. It’s different than the fixing, explaining, or controlling mode.

We are finally free to feel the tragedy of things, the sadness of things. Tears cleanse the lens of the eyes so we can begin to see more clearly. Sometimes we have to cry for a very long time because our eyes are so dirty that we’re not seeing truthfully or well at all. Tears only come when we realize we can’t fix it and we can’t change it. The situation is absurd, it’s unjust, it’s wrong, it’s impossible. How could this happen?

Only when we are led to the edges of our own resources are we finally free to move to the weeping mode. The way we can tell our tears have cleansed us is that afterwards we don’t need to blame anybody, even ourselves. It’s an utter transformation and cleansing of the soul, and we know it came from God. It is what it is, and somehow God is in it.

Richard Rohr, CAC Morning Devotion, 4/15/20

If we understand suffering to be whenever we are not in control, then we see why some form of suffering is absolutely necessary to teach us how to live beyond the illusion of control and to give that control back to God and the flow of reality. 

Richard Rohr, CAC Morning Devotion, 4/15/20

Christ crucified is all the hidden, tragic, pain made public and given over to God. Christ resurrected is all suffering received, loved and transformed by an all caring God. How else could we have any kind of hope? 

Richard Rohr, Yes, and, p. 76

Suffering is the necessary deep feeling of the human situation. If we don’t feel pain, suffering, human failure, and weakness, we stand antiseptically apart from it and remain numb and small. Some forms of suffering are necessary so that we can more fully know the human dilemma. If there is nothing in our life to cry about, if there’s nothing in our life to yell about, we must be out of touch. We must all feel and know the immense pain of this global humanity. Then we are no longer isolated, but true members of the universal body of Christ. 

Richard Rohr, Yes, and, p. 321

Suffering can lead you in either of two directions: It can make you very bitter and close you down, or it can make you wise, compassionate and utterly open. It often takes you to the edge of your inner resources where you “fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31), even against your will. Struggling with your shadow self, facing interior conflicts and moral failures, daily humiliations are all gateways into deeper consciousness and the flowering of the soul. Once you accept Mercy, it is natural to hand it on to others. We become a conduit  of what we have received.

Richard Rohr, Naked Now, p. 125-126

Suffering is the only thing strong enough to dethrone the imperial ego. The separate and sufficient self has to be led to the edge of its own resources so it learns to call upon the deeper resource of who it truly is: the true self, the Christ self. 

Richard Rohr, A Spring Within, p. 122.

Life is difficult. This is one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see the truth, we transcend it. Do we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. 

Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, p. 15

The world needs your suffering, your courage, and your strength. Don’t try to kill your pain. Share it with another, communicate it. If the first person you talk to isn’t the right one, find someone else. Somebody somewhere wants to listen to your pain, to connect with you and understand you. When you find them, when you lighten your burden and discover the jewels and joy that are alive beneath the pain, later you’ll be present for others who are suffering. 

Cuong Lu, Wait: A Love Letter to Those in Despair, p. 12–13, 15–16.

To suffer is to learn. 

William James, Varieties of Spiritual Experience, p. 392

The root of our suffering, what really cripples us, is the loss of experiential access to the love nature of ourselves as being the very manifestations of infinite love pouring itself out as life itself. The pain cuts off experiential access to the love that is reverberating and is intimately at one with that very pain itself. 

Jim Finley, teaching on Julian of Norwich in the Living School. 

The flower of the wound is the flower of awareness that is our grounding essence.

Martin Laird, Ocean of Light, p. 217

Suffering is what your mind does with your pain. A silent mind knows no suffering.

Martin Laird

Suffering exists because love needs something to love. 

Mark Ritchie