April 20 – Letting Go of the False Self
The False Self dies hard, but only because it knows that in dying, it will become true. James Finley
Gregg’s Reflection
Letting go of the False Self is not about rejecting ourselves; it is about shedding the masks we’ve learned to wear so we can live from our truest identity in God. The False Self is a carefully constructed image — shaped by fear, approval-seeking, and the need to control — that we present to the world in hopes of feeling safe and valued. Robert A. Johnson wisely noted, “The shadow is closer to the real self; it is more genuine. The persona, or false self, is what we would like to be and how we wish to be seen by the world.” That’s a humbling reminder: even our unpolished parts can be closer to truth than the performance we put on.
The False Self promises safety but demands constant upkeep. I used to believe that if I worked hard enough, accomplished enough, I would be enough. But the longer I chased that illusion, the more exhausting it became. No matter how much I achieved, the bar only seemed to move higher. Living from the False Self is like running a race with no finish line — it keeps us striving but never arriving. As Richard Rohr writes, “The way to the True Self is through the death of the False Self.”
When we let go of the False Self, we open space for the True Self — the self hidden with Christ in God — to emerge. This is not a self-improvement project but a deep surrender, trusting that God has already given us our truest identity. As grace dismantles the fragile scaffolding we’ve built, we begin to rest in the truth that we are loved, whole, and complete in Him.
Scripture
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Ancient Quotes
Take off the garment of the old self, and put on the new self, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator.
St. Cyril of Jerusalem, Catechetical Lectures, Lecture 20
Modern Quotes
The shadow, despite its dark connotation, is closer to the real self; it is more genuine. The persona, or false self, is what we would like to be and how we wish to be seen by the world; the shadow contains more of the authentic self.
Robert A. Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow, p. 4
The way to the True Self is through the death of the False Self.
Richard Rohr, Falling Upward, p. 68
The False Self dies hard, but only because it knows that in dying, it will become true.
James Finley, Merton’s Palace of Nowhere, p. 42
Journaling Prompts
- What “masks” or personas do you notice yourself wearing in different settings?
- How have these masks helped you feel safe — and how have they limited you?
- In what ways can you invite God to dismantle the False Self in your life?
- Where have you caught glimpses of your True Self?
👉 Go deeper into this week’s theme:
Read the full Week 16 Reflection: False Self/True Self