August 9 – Boundaries as Freedom
Every no makes possible a deeper yes to what is yours to do. Parker Palmer
Gregg’s Reflection
As an Enneagram 8, boundaries do not come hard because I’m afraid to say “no.” For me, the challenge is different: I can plow past my own limits in order to take on one more responsibility, one more fight for justice, one more project. I may not be trying to please everyone, but I can still lose myself by failing to honor my own God-given limits.
Boundaries remind me that I am not God. I cannot fix every problem or carry every burden. To keep saying “yes” when I am overextended is its own kind of people-pleasing, rooted in the illusion that I am indispensable.
When I respect my limits, I am free to give myself more fully where I am truly called. Saying “no” at the right time opens up space for God to work through others and keeps my “yes” grounded in love and freedom.
Scripture
Let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No,’ no; anything more than this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5:37
Ancient Quotes
Love that has no discipline soon becomes possessive. True love says both yes and no.
Bernard of Clairvaux, On Loving God, ch. 15
The servant of love must sometimes say ‘no,’ for love seeks the good of the beloved, not merely their comfort. Freedom is found in the courage to choose rightly, even when misunderstood.
Ramon Llull, Book of the Lover and the Beloved, #271
Modern Quotes
Every no makes possible a deeper yes to what is yours to do.
Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak, p. 39
You probably don’t need to be told that your life would improve if you could learn to say ‘no.’ … It’s a lifelong journey, for an inveterate pleaser, to learn how to get a true sense of ‘where you end and others begin,’ and set a boundary.
Zoe Williams, The Guardian, “Just Say No,” 12/13/23
Journaling Prompts
- Where do you risk losing yourself by pushing beyond your limits?
- How might honoring your limits be a spiritual practice of humility?
- What is one burden you are carrying now that God may be asking you to release?
- How can saying “no” this week make your “yes” more faithful?
Go deeper into this week’s theme:
Read the full Week 32 Reflection: People-Pleasing