June 28 – Unconditional and Conditional Love
Love that accepts without conditions is grace; love that calls us to change is truth. Jesus always offers both, never one without the other. John Ortberg
Gregg’s Reflection
When I first began to reflect on God’s love, I was drawn to the idea of unconditional love—love without strings, without performance requirements. It felt like a deep sigh of relief, a place where I could finally rest. But as I grew, I realized that God’s love also calls us forward. Like a good parent, God loves us completely as we are, and yet loves us too much to leave us unchanged.
We often pit unconditional and conditional love against each other, as if they cannot coexist. In truth, they are two sides of the same coin. God’s unconditional love is the foundation—it assures us we are accepted and cherished. God’s conditional love, if we can call it that, is the love that shapes us, challenges us, and refines us. It is love that disciplines, not to punish, but to help us live fully in the truth.
In my own life, I’ve experienced both. There are times when I have been held tenderly in my brokenness, and other times when love has confronted me, calling me to repentance, maturity, and greater alignment with Christ. I need both. We all do.
Scripture
Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; so be zealous and repent.
Revelation 3:19
As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
Psalm 103:13
Ancient Quotes
The same sun that melts the wax hardens the clay.
Augustine of Hippo, Expositions on the Psalms, Ps. 1
The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and corrects every son whom he receives.
John Chrysostom, Homilies on Hebrews
Modern Quotes
Love that accepts without conditions is grace; love that calls us to change is truth. Jesus always offers both, never one without the other.
John Ortberg, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, p. 54
The discipline of God is not the withdrawal of love but its most intense expression.
Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart, p. 217
The Gospels portray Jesus showing both unconditional and conditional love. We need both loves to grow up properly: conditional love when we’re strong and brash, unconditional love when we are weak and self-doubting.
If we are lucky, we received a combination of both kinds of love from our parents. Experiencing unconditional love as a child gives us a strong sense of self. Yet we need to hear the sacred no—something to bump up against, to discover limits or we will never go deep and discover the best in ourselves.
At best, a father’s love is also conditional because it teaches the son discipline and a conditional demand against our own natural egocentricity.
Richard Rohr, On the Threshold of Transformation, p. 40-41
Journaling Prompts
- When have you most felt God’s unconditional love?
- Can you recall a time when God’s love challenged or corrected you?
- How do you respond to love that calls you to change?
- Which aspect of God’s love—unconditional or conditional—do you most need to experience right now?
👉 Go deeper into this week’s theme:
Read the full Week 26 Reflection: Loving/Being Loved