May 31 – The Cost of Taking Sides

Gregg’s Reflection

I’ve taken sides most of my life — in politics, in business, even in church debates. It felt good to be certain, to be on “the right team.” There’s a rush that comes from winning an argument or proving your position. But I’ve learned that there’s a cost.

When I lock into one side of a binary — right versus wrong, us versus them — I close myself off from what the other side might teach me. I stop listening. I defend my camp, not the truth. Over time, this way of living drains the soul. As Richard Rohr puts it, stridently taking sides in a binary system sacrifices wisdom, depth, and truth for the illusion of certitude.

I’ve seen the damage in relationships. In my business years, disagreements sometimes became personal feuds. In ministry, theological differences could become walls. And in my own heart, the need to be “right” left me restless and unsatisfied, even when I had “won.”

Jesus rarely took sides the way people expected Him to. He didn’t choose between the religious elite and the common sinner; He called both to transformation. He didn’t line up with one political faction over another; He challenged all of them. His way was the way of truth, which often meant disappointing both sides.

Scripture

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?

Matthew 5:46

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

James 1:19

Ancient Quotes

We should not be quick to take sides in every dispute, but listen with a humble and open heart, for the truth often lies hidden where we least expect it.

Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, Book I, Ch. 4

Modern Quotes

Stridently taking sides in a binary system has nothing to do with truth… It comes at such a cost! It’s such a defeat for intelligence, for wisdom, for depth, for truth.

Richard Rohr, Divine Dance, p. 99–101

We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. We do not assume that our side is always right; we ask what Christ requires of us in this situation.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p. 99

Journaling Prompts

• When have you been tempted to take a hard side in a conflict or debate?
  
  
• How did that choice affect your ability to listen and learn?
  
  
• What do you think Jesus’ example teaches about engaging with “both sides”?
  
  
• How can you practice humility when you feel strongly about an issue?

👉 Go deeper into this week’s theme:
Read the full Week 22 Reflection: Judgment, Dualistic Thinking