May 26 – Ego’s Fear of Surrender

Gregg’s Reflection

In my experience, the ego clings to control like a child clutching a security blanket. For years, I believed that if I could just plan well enough, work hard enough, and anticipate every possible obstacle, I could shape the outcomes I wanted. But over time, I began to see that much of my need for control wasn’t about wisdom or prudence—it was about fear. Surrender felt like failure, like giving up the fight before it was over.

At City Church, our Lead Pastor left me to finalize our next location while he went on sabbatical. Our lease on the building was up, rents were skyrocketing, and our best option looked beyond reach. We realized that the only way forward was on our knees. Once again, I could not do this in my strength. After the church focused intensely on prayer, doors opened, and we ended up in an art deco movie theater right in the middle of the neighborhood. Even though Pastor had said, “Don’t call me,” I interrupted his sabbatical to tell him we had a home.

What I’ve learned is that surrender is not a one-time act but a daily practice. The ego will always whisper that control equals safety, but in reality, surrender is where safety lives—because it anchors me in the One who sees the whole picture. And when I let go, I often discover that what I feared losing was never the point; the point was learning to trust.

Scripture

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.

Psalm 37:5

Ancient Quotes

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.

Augustine of Hippo

He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.

Aristotle

Modern Quotes

Surrender is faith that the power of love can accomplish anything… even when you cannot foresee the outcome.

Deepak Chopra

To surrender to God is not to passively resign, but to actively trust the flow of His love.

Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart, p. 67

In the spiritual life, the word ‘surrender’ is often misunderstood. It does not mean giving up; it means giving in—to the love, wisdom, and will of God.

Richard Rohr

Journaling Prompts

• When have you experienced the fear of surrendering control?
  
  
• How might your ego’s desire for control be rooted in fear?
  
  
• What would trusting God in this situation look like right now?

👉 Go deeper into this week’s theme:
Read the full Week 21 Reflection: Humility vs Ego